Pastoring with Autistic Awareness
by Michael W. Campbell, Ph.D.
As a young pastor, soon after our son was born, we discovered that he took extra time to be soothed down and had difficulty with sensory overload. Without even a mother’s room in this rural country congregation, one well-meaning church member slipped us a note assuring us that the reason our child could not sit still was because he was possessed rather than recognizing that the pastor’s wife was struggling with a child on the autism disorder spectrum (ASD). As the pastoral couple we didn’t have much of a choice in where we worshiped, and well-meaning church members had no idea the deep pain they caused at the time.
As of 2017 an estimated 2.21% of the United States population, or some 5.4 million individuals, according to a 2017 survey find themselves on this difficult journey.[1] Among adults there is a slightly higher percentage of men (3.62%) versus women (0.86%) in the general population. As of 2016 this meant approximately 1 for every 69 individuals, but that number by 2023 has shifted to 1 in every 36 persons showing a slow but steady increase of autism within our society.[2] On the one hand it could be that now that there is increasing awareness that these numbers merely reflect greater access to testing, or it could be that ASD is becoming more prevalent, or perhaps even a combination of both.
ASD is a lifelong conditions with ongoing support and those who are benefited by diagnosis and support services generally tend to fare much better among the general population. While the causes are still being explored by researchers, what is clear is that the number of children diagnoses with ASD has steadily risen since the 1990s with no single reason identified as to why this number appears to be increasing. What is clear is that for those who serve in pastoral ministry or clergy, it is imperative to become more sensitive to an increasingly neurodiverse world in which the number of church members, and especially children, is likely to rise and thereby awareness, along with some strategies, can be extremely helpful for churches to support those individuals, and their families, struggling with ASD.
Support, Testing, and Therapy
Many individuals who have a child or family member with ASD may be completely unaware or in denial about their condition. Mental health awareness is now more important than ever, and the recent pandemic has made this all the more clear. While the author of this article does not claim any medical expertise, what is clear based on both personal experience and working with other parents with children who have ASD is that probably the most important step one can take is to get professional help. This can be easily done by getting testing done. In our experience this helped us recognize where our child was with his particular strengths and weaknesses. Although there can tend to be a stigma with such testing, fortunately we are living in a world that is changing and becoming more supportive about such testing. Pastors can play an important and supportive role by encouraging church members to seek professional testing—at the very least, even if they are wrong in their impressions or assessment, leaving this to experts to decide and provide resources. For children, a natural turning point is the testing center at the local public school which typically, by law, have to provide such support services. Some public schools even provide free ongoing support services and testing that make it possible to continue obtaining an Adventist education while continuing to receive support services. Many parents with a child who has ASD may be at their wit’s end and struggling, and may not realize how transformative obtaining such testing and ongoing support can be to help both the child and parents learn to cope and work together.
Awareness
Pastors can and should be extra sensitive to neurodiversity that no doubt exists in a congregation, as research suggests that almost every local congregation will have individuals on the Autism spectrum. A wide variety of medical professionals have a wide variety of advice for how to deal with autism, and such medical advice should be carefully considered on a case-by-case basis. Yet on our own personal experience in pastoral ministry, along with our own family experience, we have found that children with autism have difficulty controlling and expressing their emotions. It is not uncommon for children on the spectrum to take things overly literally, and thus when communicating with such individuals, it is important to treat them as the valuable individuals God created them to be with respect and dignity, being extra patient, and responding to potential outbursts with calmness. Children who are struggling aren’t demon possessed, as alleged by the church member, but simply over-stimulated and needing to find ways to calm, or at times, embrace self-stimulatory behaviors such as “stimming” which can be very effective for helping to calm ASD children down after too much stimulation.[3]
Intentionality
Larger churches may want to find other children on the autism spectrum as a support group and network. And in smaller communities, it may be necessary to reach out to other individuals in the community, to provide support networks. It is not unusual for children with autism to easily connect with one another, and at times, they have found themselves marginalized or having difficulty connecting with other children, so it can be quite a relief for children with autism to find value and the ability to share the gift of friendship. Children with autism at church can be especially benefited by getting regular exercise, especially going for walks or listening to music that helps them to learn how to relax and calm themselves.
Churches and schools can become safe places for autistic children, and for those who do so, by providing such intentional support could very well be a means of connection, support, and attract families to come to your church or school. While not everyone can provide all the necessary support services, by simply providing more awareness and becoming a safe place, would go a long way in an increasingly neurodiverse world. Just as a simple example, while visiting the Kansas City Airport, I walked past a “Specialty Room” which was an interactive space designed to help travelers with autism, dementia, and other sensory processing challenges.[4] If airports can provide such support by being intentional about such space, would it not be possible for Adventist churches to provide spaces just like they do for mother’s rooms for nursing and raising small children? In fact, such spaces perhaps can even be adjacent to one another thereby providing a “safe space” for accessibility and inclusion.
Last but not least, another way to engage families with ASD through ministries such as Adventurers and Pathfinders. If such ministries are boring and just a list of check sheets or work sheets, this may not be the solution, but for those youth ministry leaders who find this as an opportunity to do mentoring through outdoor activities like camping and sending time in nature, this could be an incredible opportunity for building community, friendships among children (especially giving those who are over-stimulated safe places to calmed own) and the exercise and time in nature are enormously therapeutic. Another way to extend grace is when you find children who are over-stimulated, by simply inviting the child and parent to go on a walk outside for a few minutes can be a wonderful and graceful way to spend time and get to know them and build a friendship, without necessarily coming off as harsh or judgmental. And last but not least, just as everyone has a bad day, when a child may be having a very difficult time and a parent chooses to stay home, or return home, perhaps after an embarrassing situation, extend additional love and grace by letting the person know how much you care about them and enjoy having them at church. Simple things like fidget spinners and related items can be life savers for the parents of children with ASD. And Adventist schools, who at times might excuse themselves on the basis that they don’t have sufficient personnel and can’t accommodate ASD children, may realize that with just a minimal amount of training and a willingness to be open, might discover that with already existing support and counseling, that with a minimal amount of education and empathy, that doing things like having a hall pass so that a child who is having over-sensory overload can go somewhere to calm down can be all the difference it takes to make sure a child is included and supported in an Adventist school (or Sabbath morning during church with Sabbath School).
Pastors can also provide a list of local and national organizations that provide support services. Organization such as “Autism Speaks” (https://www.autismspeaks.org/) offer tips for travel and raises funds each year for research. Pastors and church leaders can and should provide love and support to those individuals, and their families, thereby ensuring that their church is a safe place that they and their loved ones want to go to, rather than feeling judged and choosing not to return. The potential for outreach by creating such safe places in our culture and society, especially as education and awareness increases, is one important way to honor the God who created all of us, and irrespective of our individual challenges and backgrounds, values each and every one of us in the image of God. By showing such courageous leadership we follow in the footsteps of our loving Creator and Savior who created each of us unique and special. All human beings should have dignity, respect, and value, and the local church is an opportunity to demonstrate this in a unique way by walking in the footsteps of Jesus by providing love and support for those who either have, or who have loved ones, on the autism spectrum disorder. Let’s create safe spaces in our homes, churches, and schools by becoming more aware and intentional to provide such loving support. If such trends are any indication, safe churches are places where people will want to go so why not start today? I’d love to hear from fellow pastors what experiences you have had, or advice, that has helped you to be more sensitive and autistic aware in your ministry.
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevent, see: https://www.cdc.gov/autism/publications/adults-living-with-autism-spectrum-disorder.html#:~:text=An%20estimated%205%2C437%2C988%20(2.21%25),as%20they%20transition%20to%20adulthood.
As a resource, see: https://www.connections-counselling.co.uk/blog/top-10-tips-for-autistic-well-being/.
Micheal W. Campbell serves as Director, of Archives, Statistics, and Research for the North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
