Pour Out. Pour In.
When’s the last time you checked in with yourself, asking and honestly answering the necessary question, “How am I?” Another way to ask the question based on our clergy life is, “As I pour out, how am I creating space for someone to pour into me?”
Let’s get into more specific hypotheticals. November and December can be heavy with church programming. How much of that load am I unnecessarily carrying? I’ve conducted two funerals in the past two weeks and both of the deceased had an extra special place in my heart. Have I told my church leadership that I’m drained and will be taking a couple of extra days off this week? And as I hand off tasks to others, how am I filling the time so that I return with something of substance to give?
Figuring out how we get filled is difficult for many, if not most, of us. And perhaps part of our struggle to delegate is related to our unfamiliarity with value-added downtime. It’s not something we’ve been taught. All our mentors plowed through never taking strategic time away. If it weren’t for insistent relatives, we’d never go on vacation.
Here are some of the ways that a few of our ministry colleagues are poured into. Because the process of being poured into isn’t always restful, we’ve also included some of the ways that these same colleagues intentionally rest.
Poured into:
Consistent life-giving friendships
Family
Personal development: books, podcasts, and other media
Community women groups
Peer connections
Personal devotion
Mentorship
Surrounding myself with positive people
Rest:
Exercise
Healthy diet
Massage
Manicure/pedicure
Silence
Music
Outdoor activities
Acupuncture
Quiet alone time
Sleep
Hobbies: video editing, podcasting, reading, tabletop games, bonsai trees
Family time
How do they actually make this happen?
“I listen to myself. When I know I need a friend or time or space I take it. I genuinely don’t take on or bite more than I can chew. I also make time to shop because I'm finding that when I feel put together I feel poured into. I feel I’m making myself a priority.”
“I turn off my phone. I’ve just gotten to a point where I realize there is always going to be work to do. If it doesn’t get done today, there’s tomorrow. I have to put the parameters into place and be intentional about what I will do and won’t do. I have accountability checkers (people, alarms) that check in with me: “Have you taken time for yourself? How, what, when, where?”
“I spend time with my family. But it only really counts if there’s no one else from church. Being with my family with other church families keeps me from fully relaxing. It still feels like work, somehow.”
“Our ministerial is hosting ‘A Day Away with Jesus.’ It’s a time where we spend hours in nature together and by ourselves with God. It is everything!”
Hopefully you’ll find some ideas here to adopt. Hopefully some of what has been shared will validate your efforts. Hopefully we’ll all learn to personally experience more of the pouring in.
Here’s a resource called the Simplicity Exercise by Lance Witt. It helps us think carefully about how we spend our time.
Michaela Lawrence Jeffery pastors the Athens Seventh-day Adventist Church in Athens, GA and she is the managing editor for Best Practices for Adventist Ministry.
