Excuse Me…May I Have a Word?
You’re tired. It’s August. How is it August? You need just a few words to help you refocus. One of these notes may be for you from ten of your colleagues around the North American Division.
To the parent of young children, owning the dual, full-time callings of parent and pastor. In the reality of juggling schedules, meeting needs, and navigating expectations, I want you to know that the whole of your life speaks to the grace of God. It’s not only the moments you plan or the scripted sentences that are saturated with the Holy Spirit. It all counts. Your ministry is blessed by your kids and your kids are blessed by your ministry. And both are touched by the hand of God. Breathe. All has its place.
To the pastor who doesn't know if they are carrying too much, if others around you tell you that you are, they are probably right but you need mature friends to define that. A wise, wise veteran once told me, "You young guys need to learn that there are no vacancies in the Trinity." Wise words, but on our own we don't know how to evaluate ourselves. Seek experienced wisdom.
To the recently graduated Theo major, you just got out of college, and you want to do everything, and that church you’re in seems stuck in their ways and impossible to change. You’re questioning the call and wondering if this is for you; He’s called you. And the call sometimes means having the patience to wait and the wisdom to learn from the mistakes of others. Sometimes people aren’t ready to listen. You are called. Listen, learn, grow and live in the joy that only the Spirit gives. Minister from that place.
To the single minister, welcome to a very exciting time as a single minister. Many of your congregants will think that you have all the time in the world and will try to load you up with assignments. Be in charge of your own schedule. Spend time creating your daily or weekly plan and try to stick to it. Don’t forget your quiet times with God. Be friendly but be guarded at the same time. Be aware of the people in your congregation who might be trying to marry you off to some person of their choice. Watch out for the single people who will throw themselves at you wanting you to date them. Maintain sound boundaries. Stay focussed. God will bless you for your faithfulness. Work smart. Be accountable.
To the female pastor stressed out by the expectations of parishioners, pause for a moment and consider who called and placed you into ministry. God is aware of your gifts and your ability to employ them in your leadership roles. His expectations of you are the only ones that matter. Allow His “still small voice” to be your only GPS—guidance processing system!
To the minister who is tired and burnt out. I want you to know that you are enough. That seemingly endless list of visits, problems and complaints says nothing about your worth or your ability to do this work. This is a difficult season to be human and a painful season to lead. Care well for yourself and feed your spirit with poetry and walks and drawers full of thank you cards. I see you. It is enough, you are enough, Divine grace is enough.
To the pastor who has been hiding behind assumed expectations, that’s draining the life out of you. Your church needs you to live in your own skin. Let them see you, friend. Stop performing. Put aside the podcasts, books and other people’s sermons. Be present. Show up with no agenda except to get to know them and to let them get to know you. Slow down and let them see you.
To the weary pastor who is dealing with a devastating personal family crisis, be honest with God about how you feel. Ask Him to give you faith to believe that He loves your family members more than you do and that nothing can separate them from His love.
To the pastor who has just become a parent for the very first time, you are going to make it through this. Yes, you will be sleep deprived. Certainly, your schedule is going to be turned upside down. Your priorities will be rearranged. There will never be a time as you move forward in life when your family needs you to be more present. The arrival of your baby needs to be celebrated, enjoyed and embraced. It's expected that you will need to adjust your pace in ministry. Take full advantage of the support of your elders. Set your speaking schedule in anticipation of the arrival of your new little one. This tender time allows you to set in motion the new priorities of your family.
To pastors at any stage in ministry, give yourself permission to not be “on” all the time. Live your life at an appropriate yet generous level of vulnerability with parishioners and friends. This will provide moments of connection as well as sustainability in ministry. Joining the human race will be liberating for you and those to whom you minister.
To the pastoral couple, God has brought you together as partners in life and ministry. The issues of home and church can be handled, they just won’t be handled all at once. You are in this position because of the example you have set. Continue to keep your family first and all shall be well.
