CALLED and My Calling
By Darnisha Thomas
My first experience with CALLED was volunteering with the PKs in Austin, Texas as a seminarian. It was a beautiful time with our youngest PKs. This time, I attended CALLED after having pastored for five years.
I had so many mixed feelings prior to the event, feelings of excitement for seeing and catching up with my pastor friends whom I hadn’t seen since the pandemic. Some I’d met virtually during the pandemic. These were feelings of eagerness to receive additional information and resources for my ministry toolbox, feelings of anticipation for the heart transformation from the Arena experience, and even feelings of anxiety—having to face individuals from a painful season in my ministry.
The week before my flight, my prayer was to experience two things: closure and release.
There’s something beautiful about seeing friends and seminary classmates who were once anticipating a call from a conference and are now thriving in their ministries. In my colleagues, I saw resilience, passion, love for people, and hope. Even in those who are currently going through their own crucible, I saw perseverance and courage.
It was a greater joy to have lunch with my clergy sisters. It was a time to love on each other and shed tears of joy hearing what God has done for each of us since we’ve last seen each other. I was also able to meet new beautiful faces of women clergy, some of whom I had met virtually. God has been gracious to the clergy sisterhood. There was no room for comparison but for compassion and collaboration within those walls. I will forever be grateful for my clergy sisters more than they will ever know.
The Arena experience was something I can never forget. That's where I experienced release. The theme of resilience echoed throughout each session. I can tell that God’s hand was on every worship leader and session speaker. There are songs that helped me through the roughest moments of my ministry and at CALLED, it was through these same songs that I found myself experiencing freedom to worship through raw expressions of grief and gratitude reflecting on what God had done for me these past five years, especially during the pandemic.
The theme song eventually moved me to tears as I reflected on my journey in ministry, especially the darkest moments when I contemplated quitting ministry altogether. I also thought about my clergy friends who had left ministry for good. I’m sure there were some people in the audience who needed that song as a reminder that they are called not by a conference but by The One who has first loved us. I am convinced that this song is the unofficial anthem for pastors and chaplains regardless of age, gender, race, and everything else that makes us different from one another.
As I returned to my hotel after the last evening session, I sat by the daybed in silence, taking in this experience with tears in my eyes again from a place of gratitude. I was grateful for the knowledge that was freely given from experts in ministry. I was grateful for the time spent with my clergy friends and hearing their testimonies of God's infinite grace and mercy in their personal lives and ministries. I was grateful for the courage to face those who had once written me off as unfit for ministry and to say to them, “I’m still here and I’m thriving.” I was grateful to experience God’s presence like never before. I was grateful for the answered prayer for closure and release and the peace that followed. I was grateful for the motivation to return home and finish, with confidence and a renewed spirit, this work that God has begun in me.
CALLED was a timely experience for me. One month later, I’ve noticed a whole new attitude in my ministry. I’m not sure how long this feeling will last, but I’m hopeful that I will still be in ministry by the next CALLED Convention and I hope to see you there. Until then, I’ll keep going on this ministry journey since “I’m only here because I’m called.”
Darnisha Thomas serves as associate pastor for children, youth, and families at Southview Seventh-day Adventist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is also children’s ministry director for the Minnesota Conference.
