Nothing Stays the Same
By Michaela Lawrence Jeffery
Counting my four undergraduate dormitory years as one dwelling, I’ve lived in over 15. My parents’ count is much higher. If they move again, I’ll be watching the sky for pigs.
When a glass breaks in our home, even the fancy ones we inherited from the previous owners, I think, “Great, one less glass to pack.”
It’s not that I’m in a race to surpass my parents’ record. It’s that I know what I know…that one of these days, I’ll move…again.
Maybe you’re in the middle of a move or know for sure that there’s one coming soon. If you detest moving, are worried about how your kids will fair, or something else, I hope these notes are useful. Take what helps; toss the rest.
While it doesn’t get easier, unless you embrace extreme minimalism, it can be better. Will your move be paid for? Get movers who’ll wrap everything in sight. Do you have an awkward piece of furniture that you’ll need help with? Ask for help around lunch or supper time and feed your volunteers. Allow your community to pitch in. We do far too much on our own.
Will my kids be okay? As long as they have a place to sit during the drive or flight and you’re with them, they’ll be fine. If they’re old enough to be helpful even with small things, let them unload the (insert small item here) so that they feel part of the process. Be prepared to provide extra snuggles as they acclimate to their new digs. There’ll be some tough times but yes, they’ll be okay.
The housing market is horrible! I know. My husband and I couldn’t afford the house we’re in if we had to buy it right now. It’s rough when your move is during a seller’s market. Slow down long enough to get good advice. Slow down even longer to pray. Your new home may first be an apartment which will mean keeping things in storage until you find a house. That’s money you feel you’re pouring down the drain. You’re not going to be able to fight your way through this. Take the advice you shared with others in that sermon series you titled, “How to Wait” or “When Waiting Wilts”. Okay. Maybe not that one.
You have to stay with your parents or your spouse’s parents before you move into your new home. Before getting married, I moved back home twice. The first time, I felt like a failure. I’d just graduated college and thought the move was ten steps in a very wrong direction. It turned out to be the best of decisions that launched me well into the rest of my life. And that’s also when I met my husband! The second time I moved back home, I knew I needed to. It was a healing time for me and I embraced that. Remember the God who has a way of working things out for our good.
It’s gonna take forever to unpack all these boxes! That’s honestly not a problem in the grand scheme. Look at the boxes then get that bird’s eye view of your life. Now put the boxes out of the way and move on with your day. Ask God to let you know when to return to unpacking those crazy boxes. There. Now it’s his job.
I’m really gonna miss my old place. Yup. And it’s okay to mourn. I sometimes look around my house wishing we were back in Knoxville in our 80-year-old house that has windows everywhere. It was just right for us. It’s my kids’ first home. It’s the first house we bought. So many memories. Take pics. Frame them.
But you haven’t said anything about how my transition will impact my church life? I know. Because that’s what so many resources focus on–the lists of what to do and what not to do in the first 90 or 100 days and more. If you want that info, Google will provide. What I’ve shared is as a way of reminding you that you’re a person before you’re a pastor. You occupy a house or apartment. You have stuff in it that has to go with you. You have a family. You have pets. And you’ll pastor better when those other realities of your life are prioritized and cared for.
Courage for the journey.
Michaela Lawrence Jeffery pastors Athens Seventh-day Adventist Church in Georgia.
